Courtesy costs nothing

Raistlin · October 2, 2015

I'm beginning to wonder whether "please" and "thank you" were just figments of my imagination.

I am involved as an admin on another, non related, but technical forum and just recently I've been noticing the number of times members of that forum demand the answers to questions without a hint of courtesy and, if a good answer is given, can't be bothered to thank the provider of the information in reply.

One particular new forum member has started five different threads in the last 24 hours, each with what I can only describe as a demand for information. So much so that one of the moderators has gently reminded him that it might be prudent to use a little courtesy. This was done by private message rather than embarrass the member by mentioning it publicly.

The reply the moderator received is as follows:- "wot the f*** as it got to do with u" (sic)

Thank the lord for the JoC forum where courtesy abounds :D Cheers everybody, this forum is a pleasure to visit, in my view.

zero · October 2, 2015

paul it really is bad nowadays. their is no respect thank you is a word from years ago, as a retailer you are lucky to get ta or cheers, young ones are dragged up nowadays only one parent up bringing, and if "she" or HE is maybe not taught "respect" as a youngster growing up then the younger ones they have , have none, my family owns fast food outlets in the south east of the country and on a daily encounter our "staff" are treated to all manners off "swearing" and abuse , and that's from the locals, police getting called all the time at premises dose not go down well with council licencing depts., I had to "grap hold off a so called "customer" a big chap, I was in the doing a regular visit when this one "kicked off" and tried to slap on of the girls, I seen this and pinned the clown to the floor using a choke hold, as I went against pops wishes and joined the forces when I was young. told the manager to call the police, but he was let off with a caution. lucky I was their as in the ten mins it took me and him had a chat,ect cctv is a great thing,

Old Peter · October 3, 2015

Hi Paul,

Being polite costa nothing, and I also wonder where it has gone. One of the big problems is that many people use the anonymity of the internet to be nasty when they would not have the courage to do so face to face.

I too appreciate that the JOC is a friendly club with tolerant moderators.

Regards,

Peter.

O.T.H · October 3, 2015

I agree why be nasty no one needs to- the club is a friendy place enjoyed by many.

The best

Frank

Aubrey · October 11, 2015

Your quite right. manners cost nothing.

I am appalled at the behavior of not only young men but girls now to!

Respect does not seem to exist any more.

For instance - When I have had to travel by bus, thankfully not very often, I am amazed that young men seem unable to stand up to give the elderly a seat. Manners were something instilled in to us at home and in school.

I have always found this site when I have been on it very friendly and helpful.

Bests,

Julie.

The Voices · November 20, 2015

You want to spend some time on the Subaru forums where I hang out !

Most of the 'posters' are unable to construct a sentence and punctuation is just something that happens to other people !

jampot · March 3, 2016

I stopped using a garage because I never got a thank you, I went into Halfords for the last time last night because I asked where the cable ties were because I was in a rush to do a job before it got dark and just got a pointed finger and a grunt, anyway I never wanted to pay £ 4 quid for 8 ties when I can get 200 for that.

Aubrey · March 4, 2016

That is one of my pet hates, not saying please or thank you.

Surely if you work in retail you understand that the customer pays your wages - pays to keep them happy.

You are right they are expensive, I wanted a new battery cost over £100, bought one on line £58 delivered next day!

jampot · March 4, 2016

I will never set foot in Halfords again Aubrey.

Aubrey · March 4, 2016

Do not blame you!

I would not go out of my way to visit them.

Better service cheaper prices elsewhere.

Had a problem with them about 3 yrs ago. sitting in my friends BMW when she nipped in to the shop.

One of the young "mechanics" came out to his friends hot hatch parked next to the beamer, swung the door open quickly bashing it in to the BM with some force.

Did not realise I was sitting in the passenger seat. I was not happy neither was my friend.

Old_Growler · March 4, 2016

Probably all ex Audi and BMW owners who have upgraded to a Jaguar....

Aubrey · March 4, 2016

Yes I did! best decision I made would not buy any thing else now

Aubrey · March 4, 2016

True if your polite and decent most people respond in the same way.

Old Peter · March 4, 2016

Jim, Please read the Club Rules.

Criticism of members spelling etc can be offensive to the member.

Peter.

Old Peter · March 4, 2016

Jim,

I reiterate, please read the Club rules.

"Any member opposing a Moderators decision should do so directly with the Moderator by using PM or email in a professional manner"

Peter.

O.T.H · March 4, 2016

Jim ---I am in total agreement with Peter because when I saw your statement I also thought it was a Criticism of a members spelling etc

I think perhaps just a unintentional -- unfortunate way you put it ?????

Frank

Raistlin · March 4, 2016

Jim,

Peter and I discussed this before we jointly made a decision to remove part of your post.

The point I am making is simply that the comments you made were (probably) so susceptible to more than one possible interpretation as to be seen in the same light by three of us at least.

As you know, that is one of the big problems with a text based community. You just do not have the nuances of voice or body language to enhance the overall impression

Perhaps you might consider discussing it with Peter or Frank or myself via PM so that this thread can get back on track please?

Old_Growler · March 5, 2016

On 3/3/2016 at 8:18 PM, jampot said:

I stopped using a garage because I never got a thank you, I went into Halfords for the last time last night because I asked where the cable ties were because I was in a rush to do a job before it got dark and just got a pointed finger and a grunt, anyway I never wanted to pay £ 4 quid for 8 ties when I can get 200 for that.

£4 for 8cable ties,That's extortion! I blame the price charged since women started reading 50 Shades Of Grey

Old Peter · March 5, 2016

11 hours ago, JimC64 said:

Peter. perhaps you'd like to share where I did this?

I am a strong advocate of NOT doing that and have actually defended in instances where this has occurred. I believe this to be an error on your part, or misread

If I remember correctly, I made reference to welcoming new members and how , If a new member simply said Hi, making no effort to add more meat on the bone I would reply in kind. In essence that if a new member took the time and trouble to discuss themselves, their car, their family / work etc and perhaps a pic of the car I would go the extra mile.......that simple.

I'm afraid Peter you are quite simply wrong in your assumption.

Hi Jim,

I did ask you to read the rules which are quite clear. "Any member opposing a Moderator's decision should do so with the Moderator directly by using PM or email in a professional manner". You have chosen not to do so.

However, I do believe that I deal with things a professional manner and so I have sent you by PM the exact words you used, and which I believe I interpreted correctly, and acted correctly according to the Rules of the Club.

So, acting in a professional manner, I made a copy of your post.

Regards,

Peter.

Tigger · March 5, 2016

Hi Paul,

The one thing I find odd about ignorant bad service and manors is that I was told a while back, that it takes more energy than being polite and helpful.

Treat others as you would like to be treated and the world will be a much better place, plus, personally, If I get great service, I don't mind paying a bit more and will return . 😊👍

Cheers

Andrew

jampot · March 5, 2016

If I don't get a please or thank you I say "did your mother not teach you manners".

Aubrey · March 5, 2016

A lot of people do not seem to have been taught at all.

Simple manners cost nothing.

Raistlin · March 5, 2016

Couldn't agree more Andrew

jaggy · March 10, 2016

Hello everybody,

I'm a newbie to this forum, and can I just reiterate what has been said about the current state of ‘manners’ and courtesy in the community.

As a person who cannot speak now because of illness, my experience of intolerance and bad manners out in the big wide world, would shock most people!

I am retired engineer, so I’m not stupid, and yet a lot of people treat me with less than good manners, and often scuttle away and disappear when I enter a shop! With this in mind, I usually write a note of explanation beforehand on my laptop, and always include ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and hand it to the salesperson. I always smile and give a ‘thumbs up’ and always shake the person’s hand afterwards.

There’s an old saying……….. ‘Manners maketh man’, and I believe it’s very true. It costs absolutely nothing to be civil, and smile. I live by the philosophy to treat others as I would like to be treated by them.

As I look for an old Daimler Super V8, I know that I am really going to enjoy being part of this forum, and I would like to thank all the organisers for their hard (unpaid) work.

Many thanks.

John

Aubrey · March 10, 2016

Hi John,

Its such a shame many people are so impatient and intolerant. My friend has a speech impediment and many people just do not have the manners to listen.

Many years ago, one of my teachers had a Daimler V8. It was beautiful. I used to always wait by the gate to see it drive in I thought it such a marvelous looking car.

That was what got me interested in cars.Other girls at school found it odd. Hope you find a nice one soon.

Julie.