I have got the car started so the problem is solved. Found out some stuff as follows.
1. My multimeter was reading the voltages wrong because its battery was on the way out.
2. The car battery is pretty much dead.
3. Good news - I got it started after buying one of the fancy lithium battery jump starters
Interestingly, I discovered that all the warnings and the gauges going mad were caused by depressing the accelerator down slowly twice as advised after reconnecting the battery. The exact sequence that showed this was:
- engine started fine with jump starter
- I remembered about the accelerator pedal throttle reset
- turned engine off and switched ignition to position II
- pressed accelerator down slowly twice
- warnings came up and gauges needles shot up to max and car would not start
- then I switched ignition off completely and left it for about a minute
- tried to start it again and it started fine. Note the jump starter was still connected.