Raistlin

A prosperous and safe New Year to all club members :)

Recommend you change the cruciforms which hold the covers in place Craig. The plastic ones degrade and snap very easily. Light alloy copies are readily available on fleabay. That should help to stop you losing covers, which cost roughly £25 plus VAT from a dealership and then need painting. As Steve said, you should be lucky enough to find one in the correct colour, again, on fleabay.

You are absolutely correct in your suggestion that your insurer must be informed Graham. Not to do so would be to render your insurance null and void. Please do not be taken in with the idea that a re-map is undetectable as well. I have chaired more than one trial in Court where the ECU map was forensically examined and compared to the manufacturer standard and found to have been altered. It would be as well to do a little research prior to committing to the re-map to find a sympathetic insurer. As an example, Sainsburys insurance allowed me to have the re-map at no extra cost but they charged me a premium of £20 when I had the bonnet leaper fitted :) Having said that, my previous S-Type had the same engine as yours and I really did notice the re-map. I had mine done by DK remaps and they actually download the map while you are in the car and if, during a test drive, you are less than happy, the operator talks to the engineers and they tweak and re-download the map. I had four re-downloads until I was satisfied. One area of concern for me with that engine was the initial throttle lag before the first turbo gets it's act together. By the time they were finished I was content :)

Me too. If only I could get in the darned thing ;)

You could try Lancaster Jaguar in Wolverhampton. They have always helped me.

Phone your nearest dealer and quote VIN number OR registration number. They'll usually e-mail you a spec sheet by return.

It will be in your handbook pack

Do any of you get those annoying phone calls which start off with:- "I'd like to discuss your recent accident with you." Once or twice I asked the caller to be more specific and, of course, they have no idea. That quickly fell out of favour though and I now usually invite them to go forth and multiply. However, this morning, I was bored and at a loose end and when I heard the usual opening gambit I replied "How do you know about that?" The woman at the other end said "we make it our business to know about these things" She then proceeded, "so have you claimed against the third party for personal injury and expence" I said, "That wouldn't be appropriate as the accident happened during the course of my duties, you see, I am a detective chief superintendant with the West Midlands Police. Now then, I would very much like to know where you got your information from please. I would also like to know your name as I have a few more questions for you." The phone line went dead. Why did the line go dead? Was it something I said?

Yes Joe. No pictures though.

Steve, you’re welcome to come over and see Denis and me :) Everything you’ve mentioned is eminently doable. Denis could source a CDC for you cheaper than any you might find elsewhere. We can usually source a Premium sound install and if you wander over you can hear my system. The later Bluetooth module does an excellent job and maintains the integrity of the car’s intgrated system. By all means PM me :)

Considerably brighter than normal Joe. Both Denis and I have had the cheaper fleabay bulbs in but definitely false economy, lasting mere weeks or even days. Five year warranty on these encourages me :) BTW, you can find the Halfords bulbs on fleabay for a few pounds less than Halfords charge. https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/2x-Halfords-Premium-501-W5W-LED-super-bright-Car-Bulbs-6000K-Ice-white-200-lumen/182892026041?hash=item2a9536d8b9:g:~ykAAOSw63FaBjaM

Hope this helps Joe?

Mind you, those Halfords Premium LED sidelights do look the business with the xenons and the LED main beams :)

I love my S-Type to bits, it has to be said but heavens above, couldn't the designers have come up with a better design for the sidelight bulbs? You need fingers as skinny as matchsticks, as strong as steel and with at least three fully articulated ball joints. THEN, once you release the carrier, the bulb either falls into the headlight where it jams up the beam adjuster or , like mine did today, parts company with the carrier half way out of the headlight, jamming nicely in the channel. And breathe... ;)

OK. Thanks

What was it then?

... of the average British driver never ceases to astound me. This evening I was stuck in traffic on the off ramp of my local motorway, the M54. I couldn't work out why the standstill and nobody else had any idea, going by the quizzical looks from other drivers. After having spent 20 minutes on the off ramp, I made it onto the Stafford road heading into the city of Wolverhampton, a dual carriageway, but the traffic was just as bad there, in fact, the motorway roundabout was lethal owing to the mass of traffic, so clearly, the problem lay further towards the city. Eventually, I saw a blue flashing light just off the carriageway, although too far to see much more. That was the cause of the traffic mayhem, rubberneckers and gawpers trying to see what was going on. The reason I feel moved to raise this point today is that, as I said, the Stafford Road is a dual carriageway, and I was in lane 2. As we were crawling along, stop and start, the car two in front of me suddenly stopped. Why? because there was an articulated truck in lane one and it was blocking his view of the Police car, or whatever it was, so he stopped and waited for the truck to move away so he could get a grandstand view of whatever was going on. To make matters worse, there was a Police officer there, clearly at the end of his tether, waving and shouting at motorists to move on and the moron I mentioned, along with several others, just ignored his instructions until they'd got their voyeuristic fill. Madness. Sheer madness. Once past the blue light vehicle, the road was as clear as it usually is.

Interesting solution:- A friend of mine who has a Volvo was given this advice by his local dealer when experiencing similar problems to the one I've had. Have background noise in the car, specifically the heater fan running at reasonably high speed. I set my car's fan to four bars and, you know what? It works :) All phone voice tags now setup without missing a beat :)

Exactly what I do Joe. That's when I get the error. Only when setting phone voice tags though.

Thanks Steve. I've been setting up Jaguar Voice systems for a few years now but still value your input :) No, this is a very specific problem which only causes me grief when tagging phone numbers. I wait for the "Listening" prompt before adding the tag but still get the same old error. Sometimes though it works sweet as a nut but I can't discover why.

Any ideas please? I'm doing phone voice tags. The system accepts the phone number and then asks "NAME PLEASE" I wait until the display shows "Listening" then press the voice button before giving the name. Other than that, the car is silent. I get the message "Spoke during listening phase. Command cancelled." I just can't work out what it wants

That's odd. Here you go then. Training Command List The ‘sounds’ of the following training commands are required for the voice system to ‘learn’, although some of the equipment (TV, navigation, telephone etc.) stated in the commands may not be fitted to a particular vehicle. 1. display select twilight colours 2. prefer toll roads 3. radio ten oh eight AM 4. store preset five 5. tune one oh five point two FM 6. telephone enter eight four six three seven 7. select one zero four point nine 8. CD changer play disc one track seventy six 9. climate temperature twenty five point oh degrees 10. radio one oh eight point zero 11. phone enter triple three treble zero 12. map traffic information off 13. voice guidance on 14. dial memory two hundred 15. teletext page eight four seven 16. radio tune thirteen ninety five AM 17. select fifteen eighty four medium wave 18. MiniDisc random tracks off 19. changer play CD six track sixty nine 20. navigation select zoom level eleven 21. telephone dial memory fifty two 22. climate control balance on 23. avoid major roads 24. map show complete route 25. navigation clear next waypoint 26. radio tune one oh seven point one FM 27. screen select automatic colours 28. repeat last instruction 29. phone enter gate double three one oh 30. TV channel down 31. cassette reverse 32. tape fast forward 33. television seek up 34. radio tune two sixteen long wave 35. select twelve thirty three medium wave 36. voice delete memory A 37. climate control seventeen point zero degrees 38. navigation show current position 39. CD changer play CD two track nineteen 40. map zoom out maximum

To be frank, te phrases are so simple that you can just repeat them rather than having to read them.

What is it Mike?

Hi Les, and welcome to the club. I'm not sure I'd describe those you mentioned as "purists". Indeed, it is my experience that those who know least and have least experience seem to be the most vociferous in such matters. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck... IT'S A DUCK ;) as my late father used to say. Just enjoy your JAGUAR :)